Seasons of Love: relationship questions answered

Published May 9th 2012 4:45 pm



Being a 31-year-old unmarried and childless woman in Utah pretty much makes me an old maid. So I found it a bit surprising when the idea for me to write a weekly love-advice column was pitched. At first, I was excited because like most every other aspiring young female writer out there, I once dreamed of being the Carrie Bradshaw of Salt Lake, and this was my chance to do that. Then the next wave of thought went through my brain and I realized that, aside from the insane shoe collection, I don't want to be anything like Carrie Bradshaw.

When the "Sex in the City" series ended, I was very disappointed with Carrie's decision to go back to Big. I had many a feminist rant over the writers of the show choosing to have her character make that decision. The terrible ending to what many women considered an empowering show gave me an epiphany: You can write about love and sex, and you can capture the attention of the world, but if you don't believe that you are good enough for a relationship that is worthy of you, then why should anyone take you seriously?

I am engaged now, but my road to finding a great man was a rocky one, with me putting up with things in relationships that had me looking pretty pathetic in the eyes of others. It wasn't that I was pathetic. It was that my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent.

In an effort to help you avoid the pitfalls I fell into, I am going to write openly each week. I will answer questions that you might have (without revealing who you are). And of course, I will give you an insight into my bittersweet years of singlehood: what I regret, what I encourage everyone to try at least once and why you must find yourself before you will ever find a person worth a relationship.

I won't sugarcoat anything.

If you have a love, sex or dating question you want answered, email me at athatcher@nowsaltlake.com

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Being a 31-year-old unmarried and childless woman in Utah pretty much makes me an old maid. So I found it a bit surprising when the idea for me to write a weekly love-advice column was pitched. At first, I was excited because like most every other aspiring young female writer out there, I once dreamed of being the Carrie Bradshaw of Salt Lake, and this was my chance to do that. Then the next wave of thought went through my brain and I realized that, aside from the insane shoe collection, I don't want to be anything like Carrie Bradshaw.

When the "Sex in the City" series ended, I was very disappointed with Carrie's decision to go back to Big. I had many a feminist rant over the writers of the show choosing to have her character make that decision. The terrible ending to what many women considered an empowering show gave me an epiphany: You can write about love and sex, and you can capture the attention of the world, but if you don't believe that you are good enough for a relationship that is worthy of you, then why should anyone take you seriously?

I am engaged now, but my road to finding a great man was a rocky one, with me putting up with things in relationships that had me looking pretty pathetic in the eyes of others. It wasn't that I was pathetic. It was that my self-esteem was pretty much non-existent.

In an effort to help you avoid the pitfalls I fell into, I am going to write openly each week. I will answer questions that you might have (without revealing who you are). And of course, I will give you an insight into my bittersweet years of singlehood: what I regret, what I encourage everyone to try at least once and why you must find yourself before you will ever find a person worth a relationship.

I won't sugarcoat anything.

If you have a love, sex or dating question you want answered, email me at athatcher@nowsaltlake.com

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